Elderly Scottish Jew An elderly Scottish Jew decides to slow down and take up golf. So he applies for membership at the local club. After a week he receives a message that his application has been rejected. So he goes down to the club to inquire why. Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club? Scot: Aye, but I am as Scottish as you are, MacTavish. Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear the kilt. Scot: Aye, so do I. Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under the kilt? Scot: Aye, neither do I. Secretary: But you are a Jew? Scot: Aye, I be that. Secretary: So you are circumcised? Scot: Aye, I be that, too. Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable with that. Scot: I know that you have to be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen. And I know that you have to be a Catholic to join the Knights of Columbus. But this is the first time I've heard that you have to be a total prick to join a golf club.