Bernie Sanders walks into a bar. The bartender looks over and says ""Mr. Sanders! Drinks on me. I really hope you win. Imagine another Clinton in the White House? It would be a circus!"" Bernie replies ""Bill didn't run a circus, he ran affaire!""

Bernie Sanders walks into a college bar on Friday Night.... One of his aides turns off the music, another calls for the attention of the young crowd. Bernie nervously coughs for 3 or so minutes, fumbling with his notes. He licks his lips and begins to speak about alcohol inequality, and the alcohol rich and the alcohol 99%. One of the kids waaaaay in the back speaks up quickly. >Mr. Sanders are you going to buy us all a drink now? The crowd laughs. Bernie squints at the Kid and licks his lips…

This Halloween I'm going to dress up like Bernie Sanders... and go around the bar drinking 90% of everyone elses beer...

Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump walk into a bar... Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump walk into a bar on Christmas Eve. Bernie Sanders says "Hello, can I have a drink?" and gets a drink. Donald Trump walks up to the bartender and says "Merry Christmas, can I have a drink? By the way, bartender, you are extremely ugly. I f***ing hate you. You're also bald. I hope that you die soon. When I become president I will make sure to deport ugly and bald people like you." The entire bar looks in…