I practiced cursive for years in elementary school & my electronic bank signature still looks like it was signed by a drunk monkey.

Racist two-for-one A black organ grinder and his monkey walk into a bar. He goes up the the bartender and asks if he can play his music for tips. The barkeep doesn't see any problem with this so he allows it. He warns the organ grinder, however, that the man sitting in the corner is a staunch racist and absolutely hates black people, so it would be wise to ignore that patron. The organ grinder accepts his warning and goes around the bar playing his instrument while his monkey collects money in a…

The Tortured Life of a Tractor Enthusiast (Very Shaggy Dog Joke!) So there was this guy Dave, and Dave had always loved tractors despite being a city boy. Ever since he had been 5 years old he had wanted to own one in particular, a massive green John Deere with yellow wheels. For his tenth birthday his parents brought him a poster of this tractor and Dave worshipped it. He had this poster above his bed and would gaze at it for hours before he went to sleep. As soon as he was old enough Dave drop…

Two Parents Want to Adopt a Child... so they head down to adoption agency. They say to the matron, ""We'd like to adopt a child please."" She responds, ""Well, we only have one child left. And he's a head."" ""What?"" ""He has no arms or legs. He's really just a head, poor thing."" But the new parents decide they want him anyway. So they take him home, and he has a great childhood. He does well in school, learns to overcome his disability, and his parents support him. Eventually, he turns 21 and…