Hello it's 911, what's your emergency?" "Two boys are fighting over me" What is the problem with it? "The ugly one is winning."

The Walnut Joke - Two boys were walking home one day when they came upon this huge walnut tree. WALNUT JOKE - Two boys were walking home one day when they came upon this huge Walnut tree. One boy said, ""Lets gather all the walnuts and then we'll divide them between us."" So they gathered all the walnuts. They stuffed them down their shirts, down their pants, down their sox and even tied burlap bags to their ankles to put the walnuts in. Then they started walking home... When they came close to …

Two boys walk in late to class one day... Two boys walk in late to class and the teacher asks ""Martin, Juan, why are you two so late?"" Martin says ""you see, I was having this fantastic dream where I was traveling the world! I visited so many countries and learned so many new things, I didn't want to wake up! That is why I'm late."" The teacher turns to Juan and asks ""and you Juan, Why are you late?"" Juan says ""I picked Martin up at the airport."" Edit: Wrong name in the last sentence. Went…

Whoever tells the biggest lie Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, ""Why are you arguing?"" One boy answers, ""We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."" ""You should be ashamed of yourselves,"" said the teacher, ""When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."" The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.