What was Lincoln's worst decision as President? He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

President Lincoln ""I'm going to miss you, President Lincoln,"" said John Wilkes Booth. Booth lied. He didn't.

A Man visits Heaven and notices a wall of clocks... The man asks God, "What are all those clocks for?" "They represent each time someone lies. When they do, the clock moves one tick." The man walks around, observing the clocks. "Who right here has zero ticks?" he questions. "That would be Jesus' clock." replies God. "What about Abraham Lincoln's clock?" "Honest Abe has two ticks on his." Curious about the clocks, the man decides to ask, "Where is the President's clock?" God looks up at t…

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. Homophobia is God's way of teaching us the names of Republican governors.