President Lincoln Jokes

President Lincoln ""I'm going to miss you, President Lincoln,"" said John Wilkes Booth. Booth lied. He didn't.

Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator - Alan Pinkerton - for protection. And that was the beginning of the Secret Service. Since that time, federal police authority has grown in depth, scope, and to a large number of multi-letter agencies - CID, OSI, NIS, FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, etc. Now we have the ""Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service."" Can't you see them now, these highly trained men and women in their black outfits w…

A persistent job-seeker once appeared before President Lincoln and demanded an appointment to a judgeship. He was informed that there were no vacancies. The next day while walking along the river he saw a drowned man being pulled out and recognized him as a federal judge. He ran back to the White House and demanded the position. ""Sorry"" said the President ""but the lawyer who saw that judge fall in beat you here by a good five minutes.""

There are some eerie similarities between the assassinations of President Lincoln and Kennedy... Lincoln was elected into Congress in 1846. JFK was elected into Congress in 1946. Lincoln was elected President in 1860. JFK was elected President in 1960. Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy. Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln. A week before he died, Lincoln was in Monroe, Maryland. A week before he died, Kennedy was in Marilyn Monroe. --- Credit goes to the …