Your mama is so poor She voted for Bernie Sanders! Bern!

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders? The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

How do you piss off the rich and the poor in two words? Bernie Sanders. Clause: I support the guy.

Bernie Sanders walks into a college bar on Friday Night.... One of his aides turns off the music, another calls for the attention of the young crowd. Bernie nervously coughs for 3 or so minutes, fumbling with his notes. He licks his lips and begins to speak about alcohol inequality, and the alcohol rich and the alcohol 99%. One of the kids waaaaay in the back speaks up quickly. >Mr. Sanders are you going to buy us all a drink now? The crowd laughs. Bernie squints at the Kid and licks his lips…