Parish priest A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. ""I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told…

A doctor and his wife were having lunch... ...and a beautiful young woman walks by and winks at the doctor suggestively. She cooes, ""How's it goin', doc?"" and walks away, hips swaying. The wife, confused, asks, ""Who was that, dear?"" The doctor took a sip of his wine and said casually, ""That's my mistress Arielle."" The wife was shocked and in tears. ""I can't believe you're cheating on me! I'm going to divorce you and take everything you have, you lying bastard!"" The husband calmly puts hi…

A woman brings another man home while her husband is away at work... A woman brings another man home while her husband is away at work. Her kid is home, sees the man and gets scared and runs into his mothers closet. The woman brings the man up and they start to do their thing. Suddenly, the front door opens up, and the husband is home from work early. The wife tells the man to hide in the closet. Low and behold, the kid is also in the closet. ""It sure is dark in here"" says the kid. ""yeah"" ne…

The man with the huge orange head A man walks into a bar and he looks around he sees this man sitting in the corner with this huge orange head. So he goes up to the bartender and he says ""so what's up with the guy with the giant orange head"" the bartender replies ""oh if you buy him a drink hell probably tell you all about it"" so he buys the guy a drink and goes to sit with him. The guy with the orange head says ""so I suppose you want to know about my head"" and so he tells him and he says "…