I think Google Translate did a poor job on these German jokes, but they make me laugh anyway. Teacher to student: ""'For this insolence you write one hundred times,' I am a lazy guy 'and it can then be signed by your father!' What day is the most labor intensive of an official? The Monday, as he must be equal to demolish two calendar pages. The German teacher asks Bini: ""What kind of a case, if you say: Learning brings me joy"" Bini does not hesitate: ""A rare, sir."" A man comes into the pharmacy and says: ""I'd like a pack of Acetylsalicylsaure."" Then the pharmacist: ""You mean aspirin?"" The man: ""Yes, exactly, I can just never remember that stupid word!"" Waiter: ""How did you find the fillet steak, sir?"" Guest: ""Quite by chance as I slid the vegetables aside."" An old lady is drinking whiskey for the first time. She thinks for a while and then said: ""Strangely, the stuff tastes exactly like the medicine that had to take twenty years my late husband."" A climber when shopping: ""I need panties."" Seller: ""Long?"" The climber: ""I want to buy it - and not for rent."" An American on the farm. Americans: ""Hello Mister!"" Bauer: ""I'm not the Mister I am the milker.""