[high seas] FIRST MATE: I can't wait to see my wife again PIRATE: Land Ho! FIRST MATE: Now look, that's a little rude

A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said ""I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double."" The man agreed, and said ""I wish I had a mansion."" The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said ""I would like a million dollars."" The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, ""Scare me half to death.""

An old Persian joke Long ago, there lived a poor peasant in the Persian Empire. The man had, some years before, lost his luck. His wife died, his meager wealth ebbed further away, and the poor peasant was on the verge of starvation. Realizing his life was growing grim, he decided that he would find his luck out there in the world and take it back. Packing what little belongings he had, the man set out on a quest to find his missing luck. As he walked through a large, open plain, he stumbled upon…

A pirate walks into a bar. He has the helm of a ship sticking out of his pants. The bartender very timidly asks him if he would like a drink. ""Arrrgh I'll have a pint of grog!"" The bartender gets him his drink, and everyone in the bar starts to whisper to each other about the pirate. After his third glass of grog, the bartender walks up to the pirate and says, ""hey buddy, everybody is wondering, what's with the steering wheel sticking out your pants?"" ""Arrrgh its me wife. She's been driving…