A man promises his wife to quit drinking... ...but that night he let's his buddy talk him into going to happy hour. He ends up getting so drunk he vomits all over himself. Suddenly overcome with guilt, he starts crying to his buddy. ""What am I gonna do? I'm busted for sure."" But his friend has an idea. ""Let me see your wallet."". The man turns it over and the friend reaches in, pulls out a bill, and shoves it in the dirty shirt pocket. ""When you get home, tell your wife you stayed late at th…

So a pirate hobbles uncomfortably into a bar... and the bar tender notices something strange. ""Is that a uhhh... steering wheel in your pants buddy?"" The pirate looks up and says ""Yaaarr it be! And it be driving me nuts!""

A pirate walks into a bar... ... and sits down to order a drink. The bartender notices something peculiar about the pirate and can't hold in his curiosity. "Hey buddy", the bartender says. "Why is there a wheel sticking out the front of your pants?" "Yarr", the pirate replies. "I don't know, but it's driving me nuts".

So Jesus in on vacation hitch hiking in America... A trucker sees a man and decides to give him a lift. "Do you need a ride?" The trucker asks. "Yea if you'll give me one." So Jesus gets in the car and about 30 miles down the road the trucker asks "Hey buddy are you thirsty I have a cooler full of beer." "I could drink." Jesus replied. They both grab a cold one and head down the road. Not making much small talk throughout the trucker says "Hey buddy are you hungry? My wife makes killer tuna …