A pirate walks into a bar ... A pirate walks into a bar. He's got it all, a parrot on his shoulder, a pirate-y sword at his belt, an eye-patch, the whole works. And he is also carrying his boat's steering wheel in front of his private parts. The bartender shouts: ""Oi, mate, you've got a steering wheel dangling in front of your willy!"" The pirate replies: ""Arrgh, it's driving me nuts!"" (Sorry for the bad English, it's not my first language.)