Watching my mom use an iPhone is like watching a 12 year old girl try and contact her dead grandma on a Ouija board.

""Dad, why couldn't the doctors save grandpa's life? ""Doesn't matter son, he would have suffocated in the coffin""

If you call & I don't answer, I'm not dead, I'm napping. - Things I have to say to my mom

If my dad were alive today he would say, "Mark stop telling people I'm dead"