Luigi's Fruit Shop Maria went to Luigi's fruit and vegetable shop every week. She walked in on this particular day and said, 'Hello, Luigi. I woulda lika two kilos of tomatoes pleasa.' 'Ah, Maria, so sorry I have no tomatoes today.' 'Luigi, don'ta joka with me. You know that I always buy my tomatoes from you. Just give me my tomatoes, Luigi.' 'Maria, I told you, I have no tomatoes today.' 'Luigi, I'm in a hurry, please give me two kilos of tomatoes.' 'Maria, it's like this. How do you say ""carrots"", without the ""c""?' 'Arrots.' 'How do you say ""potatoes without the ""p""? 'Otatoes.' 'How do you say ""tomatoes"" without the ""f""? 'There's no ""f"" in tomatoes."" 'That's whata I been trying to tell you, Maria. There's no effing tomatoes!'