A man walks into a bar with a large bag... He walks up to the bartender and says, ""If I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, can I have a free drink or two?"" The bartender, having been in the business a while says, ""Buddy, if you show me the most amazing thing I've ever seen, you can drink free all day -- I've seen almost everything come through this bar."" So the man opens his bag and pulls out a miniature sized grand piano, and an eight-inch tall man who starts playing it masterfully. The bartender, stunned, says, ""Well, that is the most the most amazing thing I've ever seen; you can drink for free, but only if you tell me where you got your little friend!"" The man says, ""That's fine, but we have to wait until no one else is around."" Closing time comes, and as the last customer leaves, the bartender says to the man, ""So where did he come from."" The man pulls a genie lamp out of his bag and says, ""Rub it. A genie will come out and grant you any wish."" So the bartender rubs it and out comes a genie. ""What is your wish?"" the genie asks. ""I wish for a million bucks!"" The bartender replies. ""Your wish is granted, sir,"" says the genie as he returns to his lamp. All of the sudden, an extremely loud noise can be heard from outside the bar. The man and the bartender walk out to see what it is. The parking garage across the street is filled with quacking ducks. ""A million ducks?!"" the bartender says, ""I wished for a million bucks!"" ""Well"" the man replies, ""You didn't really think I wished for an 8-inch pianist, did you?""