Joke I heard today from the lady running my football pool: A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super bowl. Box seats plus airfares and hotel accommodation, but he didn't realize when he bought them that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding - so he can't go. If you or someone you know would be interested and wanted to go instead of him, it's at St Peter's Church in New York City at 5 pm. Her name's Brenda. She will be the one in the white dress.

A man is struck by a bus... on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. ""A priest! Somebody get me a priest!"" the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd but finds no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind. ""A PRIEST, PLEASE!"" the dying man says again. Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age.""Mr. Policeman,"" says the man, ""I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic. But for fif…

So this Jewish rabbi is tired of where he lives. He lives in New York City and everyday he hears stories about crime and sees drug deals and people getting mugged. One day he has finally had enough, and he packs up his things and leaves. He goes to the airport and tells the clerk to give him a random ticket to anywhere. He flies for a long time and arrives to the land of Sneed where are the people are called Snids. Things are going great until a week after he got there and he sees this giant ogr…

Another nun joke Two girls who had been left on the doorstep of convent of cloistered nuns. The girls were shielded from the outside world and when they were old enough, the chose to become nuns. The Mother Superior said that both girls had to spend six months as novitiates in the outside world before taking their vows. The novitiates were sent to New York City where they saw all manner of different people and strange customs. One of the girls said to the other, sister, I understand that they ea…