A blonde's year in review. **January** Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. **February** Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..... Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer!!! **March** Got really excited......finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...... Box said ' 2-4 years!' **April** Trapped on escalator for hours ... Power went out!!! **May** Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions.... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! **June** Tried to go water skiing....... Couldn't find a lake with a slope. **July** Lost breast stroke swimming competition..... Learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! **August** Got locked out of my car in rain storm...... Car swamped because soft-top was open. **September** The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it??? **October** Hate M & M's...... They are so hard to peel. **November** Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ... Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!! **December** Couldn't call 911. 'Duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!! Edit: Minor formatting. Edit #2: Thanks for the front page on /r/Jokes reddit! Appreciated! Edit #3: OMG Thanks guys this is my most upvoted post!