January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels......Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer! March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said ""2-4 years!"" April - Trapped on escalator for hours ? power went out!!! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm....car swamped because soft-top was open. September - The capital of California is ""C""....isn't it? October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound - I weigh 108!! December - Couldn't call 911.... ""duh""....there's no ""eleven"" button on the stupid phone!