January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight. February - Couldn't work in a pharmacy because the bottles wouldn't fit into the typewriter. March - Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because the box said ""2-4 years."" April - Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out. May - Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets. June - Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake wit…

Did you hear about the blonde that... Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years" Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button. When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C". Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125. After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the oth…

I really like long story jokes, that have crap punchlines at the end. anybody got any others? There was once a kid called Adrian. Now, Adrian lead quite a sheltered life - he lived with his family on an onion farm, and had never ventured outside of his county. But, Adrian managed to get a place at a prestigious university. He felt it would be ludicrous to turn down his place - despite the fact he knew for sure he would quickly get homesick. Sure enough, after a couple of days at university he wa…

So there's this guy named Jim, and he moves into a new neighborhood in California. Looking for a fresh start, Jim gets a well-paying job and moves to the suburbs. Weeks turn to months and months turn to years, and slowly but surely Jim builds a new life with a new routine. Every Monday at 5:30 he goes from work to the grocery store, and gets home from the grocery store at 7. Unfortunately, Jim has a neighbor named Lisa Nancy, and she's a bit of a nut. Everyday, as Jim unlocks his door at 7, Lisa…