A math teacher went to school drunk... He told the class that they were going to learn derivatives and then proceeded to pass out. He was removed from the school and fired immediately. The lesson? Don't drink and derive

Phantom energy So, our science teacher was teaching us about phantom energy. At one point of the lesson, he puts his phone on the counter and says; ""If I leave my phone here it will eventually die."" After a little pause I hear another student whisper and say; ""Same with children"".

A lesson at a Soviet school During a political lesson at a Soviet school the teacher asks her class, ""Children, do you see God?"" ""No"" reply the pupils in unison. ""Good"" says the teacher, ""that means there is no God"" Vovochka yells from the back of the class, ""And can you see Mariya Ivanovna's brain? ""No"" reply the pupils ""Well, that sure as hell doesn't mean it's not there""

Pirate joke A teacher is giving a history lesson on pirates. He asks the students a question. ""What is a pirates favorite letter"". A student's excitedly shouts "" R ""! Teacher replys ""You would think it's R but it's the C they love"".