Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11....... a suicide.

For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

Justin Bieber's home has now been thoroughly searched, but police have uncovered no evidence of talent.