Mrs. Smith is having trouble with her husband falling asleep in church... ... and it was really embarrassing for her to be seen with him constantly nodding off. So Mrs. Smith asks the preacher before Sunday service if he has any ideas for her. He thinks about it, then hands her a pin and says, ""Every time I signal you with this gesture, poke your husband with this pin."" Mrs. Smith acknowledged his instructions and sat down with her husband for the service. Shortly into the sermon, Mr. Smith ha…

A little girl goes to her father... (long) ""Dad, where do we come from?"" The father replies, ""Well, a long time ago, God decided that he would create Adam, and then a wife for him Eve, to live here on earth. He allowed them to live here and have children and we come from them."" The girl, seemingly perplexed, then goes to her mother. ""Mom, where do we come from?"" The mother says, "" Well, I guess you're not too young for this, a long time ago, there were a species of apes that evolved over …

"" Hi, We're doing a brief survey. May I ask you some questions?"" *"" Yes.""* "" What's your name?"" *""-Adam.""* "" And your wife's?"" *"" Eve.""* "" Wow, and the snake lives with you too?"" *"" Yes, my mother-in-law lives with us too""* ^I ^translated ^it ^from ^Spanish ^and ^that's ^the ^better ^punchline ^I ^could ^think ^about.

Adam and Eve had the perfect marriage... ...he didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married and she didn't have to hear about the food his mom made.