A married couple were enjoying a luxury South Sea cruise until their liner was shipwrecked and they were washed ashore on a desert island, the only survivors. Day after day, they looked hopefully out to sea in the hope of spotting a passing vessel but none came. As boredom set in, they started to think about their home back in Arizona. The wife asked: "Did you remember to pay the final instalment on the Chevrolet before we came away?" "No, honey, I clean forgot. Sorry." "Did you remember to pay …

Jack was living in Arizona during a heat wave. As he got out of the shower he said to his wife: "It's just too hot to wear clothes today honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money."

I'm off to the store got your wallet? yes you sure? YES *hour later wife turns on news and I'm being chased by 6 cop cars and a helicopter*

My neighbor gave my kid a whistle today. He is survived by his wife Linda. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to my bail money fund.