Parish priest A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. ""I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told…

man tired of his wife Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife and arranging to have her killed. A ""friend of a friend"" put him in touch with a nefarious underworld figure, who went by the name of ""Artie."" Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash o…

Artichokes Tired of constantly being broke, and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife (with himself as the beneficiary), and arranging to have her killed. A ""friend of a friend"" put him in touch with a nefarious underworld figure, who went by the name of ""Artie."" Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, …

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, ""Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."" ""No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous,…