A minister and a lawyer at the pearly gates. A minister and a lawyer arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter greeted both of them and gave them their room assignments. ""Pastor, here are the keys to one of our nicest efficiency units. And for you, sir, (to the lawyer) the keys to our finest penthouse suit."" ""This is unfair!"" cried the minister. ""Listen,"" Saint Peter said, ""ministers are a dime a dozen up here, but this is the first lawyer we've seen.""

A forester and a Lawyer die... So a Forester and a Lawyer die and go to heaven. They're greeted at the gates by their guide. He motions for them to follow and leads them down a beautiful, gold washed path. At the end of the path they reach a solid gold mansion, glittering in the sun. The Guide turns to the Lawyer and says,""This is where you will spend eternity. We hope it's to your liking."" The Lawyer thanks him profusely and enters the mansion. The guide motions to the Forester and they move …

Two lawyers are having lunch. An attractive woman walks in, and one lawyer whispers to the other ""See that hot babe over there? I screwed her!"" The second lawyer looks her over very carefully, then turns back to the first lawyer and says ""Out of what?""

A priest and a lawyer had both died, after what seemed like eternity they finally stood before the pearly gates of heaven. Suddenly the gates open and a bright angel of God apears before them. ""Welcome to the kingdom of Heaven, please get in my carriage and I will show you to your new homes"" says the angel. The priest and the lawyer oblige and climb aboard. As they travel they see roads of gold and jewels. Houses large and small. Finally they approach the first house. It is large and beautiful…