Ted and Bill are riding thier horses down the cattle ranch When Ted spots a cow pie. He says to Bill ""I will give you 200 bucks to eat that cow pie."" and Bill responds ""200 bucks? Thats easy!"" so he jumps down and eats the cow pie right then. A few minutes later he sits up and Ted gives him his $200. Ted says ""well I'll be damned. I didn't think you'd do it!"" So they hop back on thier horses and continue for a while when Bill notices a cowpie. He says ""Hey Ted? I'll give YOU 200 bucks to …

Ned vs Ted Warning: This joke is meant to be told in person to keep friends busy. On a farm, twin race horses were born, Ned, who was older by 2 minutes, and younger brother Ted. Growing up they trained with each other and pushed each other to be the best they could. The day finally came when they were old enough for their first race. The announcer addresses the crowd, ""Aaandddd they're off. It's Ned, it's Ted, it's Ned, it's Ted, it's Ted, and it's Ned by a nose. Ted, disappointed by his loss …

Ted Nugent is driving down the interstate late at night when nature begins to call. He sees a sign for a rest stop. He says to himself, ""Oh man, I know what goes on at these places at night, but I gotta go!"" So he pulls in to the rest stop, looks in the bathroom and finds it empty. Relieved, he goes into the last stall and starts doing his business. A moment later, someone comes into the bathroom and takes the stall next to him. ""Hey, how's it going honey?"" says the man through the partition…

Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years... Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. ""So, how's life been for you? "" Ed asked. ""Not too good,"" Ted replied. ""My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son's in prison for trying to kill me, my daughter got run over by a bus, my house was hit by a low-flying aircraft, my vintage car rolled off the dockside into the sea, I had to have my …