The Divorced Virgin A lawyer married a woman who had been divorced five times. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom, "How can that be if you've been married five times?" "Well, Jim was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be but didn't know how to close. Kevin was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Edward was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Charles was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it. Richard was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the Groom, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"