Robert called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner *""Hello?""* said a little girl's voice. *""Hi, honey, it's Daddy,""* said Robert. *""Is mommy near the phone?""* *""No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Frank.""* After a brief pause, he said, *""But you don't have an Uncle Frank, honey!""* *""Yes I do. He's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!""* *""Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and s…

Sixth-grade teacher Mrs. Fisher, the sixth-grade teacher, tells the class that today they're going to have a spelling bee. Instructing the first kid to stand up, she asks, ""Robert, what does your father do for a living? Say it nice and clearly, and then spell it out."" ""My father's a baker,"" answers Robert. ""B-A-K-E-R-R."" ""That's not quite right, Robert. Try again,"" chides Mrs. Fisher gently. ""B-A . . ."" says Robert, thinking hard, ""K-E-R."" ""Very good. Now, Cecily?"" ""Doctor. D-O-C-…

Tearful Bride A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, ""Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him."" ""Now, now,"" her mother comforted, ""I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."" ""No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!"" ""Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!"" says her mom. ""Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars."" ""No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airpl…

My dad loves telling this joke to women Robert is walking down the street and sees two hearses followed by hundreds of men walking. At the front of the line, one man is walking his dog. Robert walks up to the man and asks, >""What happened?!"" The man- ""My wife and mother in law died."" Robert - ""Oh my God, I'm so sorry. How did they die?"" The man - ""My dog bit them."" Robert - ""Your dog bit them and they died?!"" The Man - ""Yup"" Robert - ""...Can I borrow your dog?"" The man simply sm…