The Cat's on the Roof A woman's on vacation and calls home to her husband. She asks, ""How's my cat doing?"" The husband says, ""The cat's dead."" His wife says, ""Well, you could have broken the news to me when I got home. I can't enjoy my vacation now. You could've just said a little white lie, like the cat's on the roof and you can't get her down."" ""Okay, I'm sorry,"" says the husband, ""I'll remember that."" The wife says, ""Anyway, how's my mother doing?"" The husband says, ""Your mother'…

Just got this in an email: The ITALIAN Funeral... The ITALIAN Funeral... A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file. The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectf…

Unusual funeral precession A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file. The man couldn't stand his curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said,…

A guy volunteers to take his wife's childbirth pains... As the expectant couple gets to the delivery room, the doctor tells them about an experimental machine that can transfer part of the pain of childbirth from the mother to the father. The husband volunteers to be a guinea pig and gets strapped in. ""How much do you want to try?"" asks the doctor. ""Let's go with 50%,"" says the man. After a few minutes, the doc asks the wife how she's doing. She says the pain is far less than her last delive…