Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a burden to someone, she called her doctor to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be. ""On a woman,"" the doctor sai…

CHUCKY AT THE MOVIES An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket agent asked, ""Sir, what's that on your shoulder?"" The old farmer said, ""That's my pet rooster Chucky, wherever I go, Chucky goes."" ""I'm sorry sir."", said the ticket agent, ""We don't allow animals in the theater."" The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the bird down his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater. He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge. Th…

Achy breaky heart. At the age of 98, Mildred was distraught to be left a widow. She decided to ended it all with her husband's revolver and join him in death. To make sure she did it properly she called the doctor and asked exactly where the heart is located. The doctor replied that the heart is just below the left breast. Hearing that she took the revolver and placed it on the spot and fired. Half an hour later she was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound-to her left knee.

A couple visits the mountains on their honeymoon... They were walking by and saw a sign for a helicopter tour. The man turns to his wife and says, ""What do you think, honey? Want to give it a try? It's only fifteen dollars"" ""I don't think so, dear."" She replies. ""We just got married and don't have a whole lot of money and fifteen dollars is fifteen dollars."" A couple of decades later the couple returns the mountains, and again pass the sign for a helicopter tour. The man turns to his wife …