Bran Muffins An old couple, he 85 years old and she 83, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to the wife's interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite, and Jacuzzi. As they gasped at the splendor of their estate, the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. ""It's…

Wise Golfer A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, ""If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"" ""No, I had to stop drinking years ago,"" the homeless man replied. ""Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?"" the man asked. ""Are you NUTS!"" replied the …

Don't make fun of your wife. A husband is prone to making fun of his wife's weight by calling her 'mother of three'. Every time he asks for something he says ""Mother of 3? Where is the remote?"" or ""Mother of 3? What's for dinner?"" One day he has his buddies over for football and he gets a bit drunk. He starts endlessly calling out: ""Mother of 3, Let's get some more beer in here."" ""Mother of 3, how about some chips?"" She doesn't answer. The husband keeps yelling over and over again until …

A politician dies... And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name. ""So, you're a politician..."" ""Well, yes, is that a problem?"" ""Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in Hell. After that however, you're free to choose where you want to spend eternity!"" ""Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell??"" says the …