Guy goes to get a haircut [long] Barber says, “so what’s new?’ Guy: “I’m getting ready to go to Italy.” Barber: “Why the hell would you want to go there? It’s so overrated. Nasty place. What airline you flying?’ Guy: “Alitalia, out of JFK.’ Barber: “oh what a nightmare. I flew them once. Old rickety airplane, left late, got there later, lost my luggage. Just the pits. Where are you staying?’ Guy: “The Pensione Mascarpone in Rome.” Barber: “oh I know that place- what a dump. Rats running all around, walls crumbling. Ooof. Hey what are you doing in Italy anyways?’ Guy: “I’m actually going with a group from church, and we’ve been granted an audience with the Pope. I’m pretty excited about it.” Barber: “Talk about a letdown. Let me tell you what will happen. You’ll go to the big square with 26,000 of you closest friends, and you’ll see a little white speck step out onto a balcony and wave his arms around and that’s your pope experience. What a racket.’ Guy: “Well, we’ve had the trip booked for a while, so I think I’ll just see what happens.’ About a month later, the guy comes back in to the barber shop. Barber: “Hey howzit? Did you go on that trip? Italy wasn’t it? Just as bad as I told you?’ Guy: “Well actually, it turned out to be the trip of a lifetime.” Barber: “yeah but how about that flight? Pretty rough, right?’ Guy: “Well, we were on a brand new Airbus, upgraded to Business Class, flight left on time and arrived 10 minutes early, and my bag was the first one off the carousel.’ Barber: “But I bet that hotel was disappointing, right?’ Guy: “No, they had recently renovated, it was super clean and the restaurant was so nice we ate there a couple, of nights.’ Barber: “How bout that pope thing? Just like I told you, right?’ Guy: “You know, it was actually amazing. Our group was ushered into an antechamber in the Vatican, and seated in a row of nice chairs. A side door opened and a Cardinal walked in, followed by an altar boy waving incense, followed by His Eminence and another altar boy. It was incredible to be that near to him. And just as he walked behind me, he laid his hand on my shoulder and said something in a foreign language. I couldn’t tell if it was Latin or Spanish or what. So after our audience and tea, I asked the Cardinal if he had heard what the pope said to me. He said, ‘Yes my son, I did hear that. Loosely translated, he said “My son, that’s the worst haircut I’ve ever seen.”