Gentlemen...BEHOLD! Puns. What do you call a cool mushroom?...A fun guy!!! A neutron walks into a bar. ""I'd like a beer"" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. ""How much will that be?"" asks the neutron. ""For you?"" replies the bartender, ""no charge"" A guy walks into a restaurant, and takes a seat. Across the room he see's a panda bear eating a large pile of bamboo. Upon finishing the bamboo a waiter comes to the pandas table. The panda then shoots the waiter in the head, gets u…

There was once these three students... ... and they were told to conduct an experiment of their choice. So the bought an elephant and put a cork in its ass and fed it non stop for 3 weeks. The idea was to see if it would all discharge at once. They had everything for the experiment ready: the hired a field had transport of the elephant but none were brave enough to pull out the cork. They trained a monkey to do it and with the elephant in the middle of the field and the monkey primed to release …

Jewish scientist wanted to become rich and famous... After years of research he finally created his great invention - a potion that would make cats talk. He started travelling all around the country, showing off his invention, but to his astonishment people were not interested. He thought about it for a while and decided, that perhaps cats were not popular enough, or cat owners did not want to know what their pets are saying. So he worked for several more years and modified the potion so that it…

Three Holy Men & a Bear A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of a university. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee, and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard - a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to conve…