Last time I saw my boyfriend he was getting on a plane to Helsinki. You might say he vanished into Finnair.

What is cold? (note: to get the temperature into Fahrenheit: multiply by 9, divide by 5, then add 32) +10C The inhabitants of Helsinki (Finland) turn off their heating. The Laps (inhabitants of Lapland) plant flowers. +5C The Laps take a sun-bath (if the sun gets over the horizon) +2C Italian cars won't start. 0C Pure water freezes. -1C Exhaled air becomes visible. Time to book some holidays around the Mediterranean. The Laps eat ice-cream & drink cold beer. -4C The cat wants to share my duv…

What did the woman from Finland say after seeing an old man fall in the water, knowing he couldn't swim? ""Oh no, Helsinki! He Finnish!""

The Sami temperature scale (ed: the Sami are an indigineous people living in the northern parts of Scandinavia, also called Lapland) +10C: Inhabitants of Helsinki turn off the heat. The Sami plant flowers. +5C: If the sun rises over the horizon, it's sunbathing time for the Sami +2C: Italian cars won't start. 0C: Water freezes. -1C: Breath is visible. Time to plan a vacation in the mediterrean. The Sami eat ice cream and drink chilled beer. -4C: The cat wants to share the bed with you. -10C: Tim…