The Sami temperature scale (ed: the Sami are an indigineous people living in the northern parts of Scandinavia, also called Lapland) +10C: Inhabitants of Helsinki turn off the heat. The Sami plant flowers. +5C: If the sun rises over the horizon, it's sunbathing time for the Sami +2C: Italian cars won't start. 0C: Water freezes. -1C: Breath is visible. Time to plan a vacation in the mediterrean. The Sami eat ice cream and drink chilled beer. -4C: The cat wants to share the bed with you. -10C: Time to plan a vacation in the Africas. The Sami go swimming. -12C: Too cold for snow. -15C: American cars won't start. -18C: People in Helsinki turn on their radiators. -20C: Breath can be heard. -22C: French cars won't start. Too cold for ice skating. -23C: Politicians begin to pity the homeless. -24C: German cars won't start. -26C: Breath can be cut into ice cubes. -29C: The cat wants in your pyjama. -30C: Japanese cars won't start. The Sami curses, kicks the tire and fires up his Lada. -31C: Too cold for kisses, lips would freeze together. The soccer trainings in Lapland begin. -35C: Time to take a week long hot bath. The Sami scoop snow from their roofs. -39C: Mercury freezes. Too cold to think. The Sami button up their shirts. -40C: The car wants to share your bed. The sami wear a sweater. -44C: My finnish colleague contemplates closing the office windows. -45C: The Sami close the toilet window. -50C: Sealions leave greenland. The Sami exchange their gloves for mittens. -70C: Ice bears leave the north pole. The yearly cross country skiing at the university of Rovaniemi begins. -75C: Santa is leaving the north pole. The Sami put on their earflaps. -120C: Alcohol freezes. The Sami get angry. -268C: Helium liquifies. -270C: Hell freezes over. -273,15C: Absolute zero. No elementary particle movements. The Sami discuss the chilly weather over another glass of vodka.