A man and his wife are trying to join the Catholic Church... A man and his wife are trying to join the Catholic Church. They meet with the parish priest to talk about conversion, and he lays out some expectations. "In order to join the Church," the priest says, "you must prove your dedication to the Lord by remaining celibate for the next 30 days." "Well," says the man, "that sounds like a difficult challenge, but it will be worth it to be part of this Church." The man and his wife thank the Priest and head home. A month later, the couple is back at the parish to meet with the Priest. "Well," he asks, "how did it go?" "I'll be honest, father," the man answers solemnly. "We almost made it. 29 days in. Then my wife dropped the Lettuce, bent over to pick it up, and it was all over." "Well," scolds the priest, "rules are rules. You won't be welcome in the Church." "That's ok," says the man. "We can't go back to Kroger anymore, either."