I have Capri Sun and pudding in my fridge which proves I'm four or poor.

Bill and Ted were at a bar... Bill asked, ""Hey where's Dave? Why isn't he here tonight?"" ""Dave is dead,"" said Ted. ""How?"" Ted said, ""Well, he was supposed to pick me up, but when he got to my house, he hit my Ferrari in the driveway, flew through his own windshield, and crashed through my kitchen window."" ""What a terrible way to die!"" ""Well, no, that didn't kill him. He tried to get up off of my kitchen floor, and he grabbed the handle of my refrigerator door for balance, but the frid…

Shlomo is upset... he's at services, practically tearing at his clothes in anguish, when the rabbi (noticing his pain) comes to him after and says ""Shlomo, everything is okay?"" With tears in his eyes, Shlomo turns to the rabbi and says ""Rebbe, you remember when my son Benjamin went to the holy land?"" ""Oh yes!"" says the rabbi. Then his face fell. ""Something happen to him? Is he okay?"" ""No, rabbi, no. But he comes back from the trip, and he tells me he is a Christian now!"" The rabbi puts…

I bought some Greek yogurt today It started asking all of the other food in my fridge for money