After Thanksgiving a woman continually finds her husband rummaging through the fridge... ... ravenously devouring leftovers from their Thanksgiving feast. It gets to the point where she begins to get worried and asks, ""Honey can you stop eating like that? You aren't even heating your food!"" To which the husband replies, ""Everyone knows it is futile to try and quit cold turkey!""

Latex gloves A happy couple are laying in bed when the husband farts, the wife says to him ""Harry, you fart every morning in bed. One day you're going to fart your guts out!"" Harry just grunted and ignored her. 4 months later... It's the morning after thanksgiving and the wife Fiona is looking in the fridge when she notices the insides of the turkey in plastic wrap. She knows what she had to do. She goes upstairs and while Harry is sleeping she slips the insides into his boxers. She goes back …

[kidnapper hands wife phone] "brent" BABY IM COMIN *kidnapper takes back phone but she can hear me yelling* IS THE HAM IN THE FRIDGE EXPIRED

I quit smoking cold turkey 1 year ago but sometimes I still get the urge to go into fridge and light up a slice