A close call. A man sits down in his chair then rips a huge fart. His wife says ""one of these days you're going to shit your guts out"". It becomes a habit that every time he passes gas she says ""one day you will shit you're guts out"" One day on Thanksgiving morning she decides she's had enough. She takes all the guts from the Turkey and sneeks them under the covers while her husband sleeps,then goes back to the kitchen to wait. After an hour or so she hears her husband scream then silence. H…

We went shopping for a turkey to cook for Thanksgiving. We're expecting 20 people at our house and my husband wanted to find the perfect turkey for the smoker. After picking through the stock at the grocery store he can't find one he wants. He says, ""Don't these get any bigger?"" I replied. ""No, honey. They're already dead.""

Thanksgiving dinner. So a housewife is preparing thanksgiving dinner when her husband comes in, and she asks, ""are you hungry, dear?"" And the turkey answers, ""no, I'm stuffed.""

Latex gloves A happy couple are laying in bed when the husband farts, the wife says to him ""Harry, you fart every morning in bed. One day you're going to fart your guts out!"" Harry just grunted and ignored her. 4 months later... It's the morning after thanksgiving and the wife Fiona is looking in the fridge when she notices the insides of the turkey in plastic wrap. She knows what she had to do. She goes upstairs and while Harry is sleeping she slips the insides into his boxers. She goes back …