A close call. A man sits down in his chair then rips a huge fart. His wife says ""one of these days you're going to shit your guts out"". It becomes a habit that every time he passes gas she says ""one day you will shit you're guts out"" One day on Thanksgiving morning she decides she's had enough. She takes all the guts from the Turkey and sneeks them under the covers while her husband sleeps,then goes back to the kitchen to wait. After an hour or so she hears her husband scream then silence. H…

We went shopping for a turkey to cook for Thanksgiving. We're expecting 20 people at our house and my husband wanted to find the perfect turkey for the smoker. After picking through the stock at the grocery store he can't find one he wants. He says, ""Don't these get any bigger?"" I replied. ""No, honey. They're already dead.""

After Thanksgiving a woman continually finds her husband rummaging through the fridge... ... ravenously devouring leftovers from their Thanksgiving feast. It gets to the point where she begins to get worried and asks, ""Honey can you stop eating like that? You aren't even heating your food!"" To which the husband replies, ""Everyone knows it is futile to try and quit cold turkey!""

Please notify if repost. (first) A woman walks into a tattoo parlor, asking the man in charge to put a picture of a turkey saying ""Happy Thanksgiving!"" on one thigh and a picture of Santa saying ""Merry Christmas!"" on the other. The man looked confused by her odd request, so he asked her why. She calmly looked at him and replied without even a stutter. ""My husband always complains that there's nothing good to eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving.""