Caught by a local tribe. A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, ""The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die."" The Frenchman says, ""I take ze sword."" The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, ""Vive la France!"" and runs himself through. The Engl…

One day a priest was walking on a pier when he noticed a guy in a boat fishing He waves to the fisherman, and the fisherman asks him if he'd like to join him in the boat for a little angling. The priest enthusiastically agrees but explains that he's never fished before. The angler says he'll teach him. On his first cast, the priest hauls in a really big fish. The fishermen exclaims, ""Wow! That's a big son of a b****!"" Realizing he's in the presence of a priest, the fisherman says, ""Oh, father…

Milk Cow There's an old poor dirt farming family, living on an old poor dirt farm, trying to raise dirt. And the only thing they had that was worth anything at all was this milk cow. It was a really good milk cow, gave a lot of high grade milk. Then they'd take the milk, and make milk and cheese, and sell the excess to get food. And the only thing keeping them going was this milk cow. Now one day, the farmer woke up and he looked outside, and he noticed that his milk cow was dead. He didn't know…

The Dad joke pay-off [not actually a joke, sorry] Dad, a little after lunchtime: ""Are you hungry?"" Son: ""No."" D. ""Really? You've hardly had anything to eat all day."" S. ""Okay, really I am, but I don't want to say it because then you'll do that joke again."" Son hates joke so much he would rather go hungry than risk hearing it one more time. Now my legacy is in place, I may die a happy man.