Caught by a local tribe. A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, ""The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die."" The Frenchman says, ""I take ze sword."" The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, ""Vive la France!"" and runs himself through. The Engl…

My sister bought my dad a wok.... he responded by saying, ""but I already wok everywhere."" I'm 31 years old and my dad is 66. I just want everyone to know that dad jokes never die and will always mean something to someone.

One day a priest was walking on a pier when he noticed a guy in a boat fishing He waves to the fisherman, and the fisherman asks him if he'd like to join him in the boat for a little angling. The priest enthusiastically agrees but explains that he's never fished before. The angler says he'll teach him. On his first cast, the priest hauls in a really big fish. The fishermen exclaims, ""Wow! That's a big son of a b****!"" Realizing he's in the presence of a priest, the fisherman says, ""Oh, father…

Two of my favorite dad jokes. 1) While passing a cemetery turn to whoever you are with and say "" Did you know everyone is just dying to get in there?"" 2) What does a 20 pound canary sounds like? (in a very deep loud voice say) CHIRP!