Build a barricade?! Crap, I thought you said build a bear arcade. Those bears are gonna be pissed when I tell them no more Cruis'n USA.

So, tensions with Russia flair up... ... And the Cold War reignites. With both the USA and Russia standing on the brink of total nuclear annihilation, the leaders decide to meet. Both agree that nothing on earth is worth an apocalypse, so they decide to end things once and for all; with a winner-takes-all dogfight. Both sides have 5 years to breed a dog, and on the set date of the fight, a single uncontested world power will emerge. The Russians immediately find the biggest and meanest Rottweile…

Taco bell, now new! with 18.5% real beef!!! (canner grade) Contains hoofs, horns, fat, ligaments, hair, bison patty (shit, bison shit, less than 2% of: rocks, cow shit, cow hide) and high fructose corn syrup. made in china WELCOME TO USA

Three businessmen and a lawyer on a train... There were three businessmen and one lawyer in a train car together. One businessman was from Russia, and one was from Cuba. The other businessman and the lawyer were from the USA. They were having a fine conversation, enjoying their trip. At one point, the Cuban businessman opened his bag, pulls out a cigar, and lights it. He bragged, ""In Cuba, we have the finest tobacco, and we handcraft the best cigars in the world. And we have so many of them, we…