The Vodka Bottle A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, ""Hello master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want."" The Russian begins thinking, ""Well, I really like drinking vodka."" Finally the Russian says, ""I wish to drink vodka whenever I want,so make me piss vodka."" The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home he gets a glass out of the…

Stalin is dead and things have begun to lighten up a bit relatively speaking An old couple live in an apartment in Moscow and she sends him down to buy some meat for supper. After queueing for the obligatory three hours he gets to the counter and the woman says 'No more meat, meat finished'. He cracks and starts raving 'I fought in the Revolution, I fought for Lenin in the First World War and for Stalin in the Second World War and we are still in this shit?' One of the leather-jacketed brigade t…

A Russian couple walks down a street in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose. ""I think it's raining,"" he says to his wife. ""No, that feels like snow to me, dear,"" she replies. Just then, a minor communist party official walks towards them. ""Let's not fight about it,"" the man says. ""Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."" ""It's raining, of course"" Comrade Rudolph says and walks on. But the woman insists, ""I know that felt like snow."" To which th…

Trying to buy things in Soviet Russia. (not my own creation, just ran into them and I think they should be told a lot) There was this old grandfather in Moscow who was a little confused. His neighbors knew that, so when they saw him standing outside his door with an empty shopping bag, they tried to help: ""Grandpa, what are you doing?"" ""Ah, sorry, I forgot. Do you know if I'm going out shopping or have I already returned?"" They could tell him that he wasn't away yet, so he went to see if the…