Jesus on the cross Jesus Christ is nailed to the cross and the disciples are gathered around, crying. Jesus calls to Peter, ""Peter, come here!"" Peter goes over to the cross, only to be hit by the roman guards. He stands up and wants to return to the other disciples and Jesus calls to him again. ""Peter, come here!"" So, again Peter tries to climb the cross to get to his lord, when the roman soldier draws his sword and says if Peter comes back they will but his arms and legs off. Peter is getti…

Two calculus professors get together for lunch at a diner near campus. ""What really frustrates me about our profession,"" says the first, ""is that the average student, not to mention member of the general public, doesn't know the first thing about mathematics beyond the four basic operations, *if that*."" ""Well, now I'm not sure about that,"" says the second. ""Come on, ask any student walking around to tell you something about general calculus! At best, they'll tell you he was a Roman war he…

Bob's Nails. Bob made metal nails for all need and uses. For woodworking or construction, his nails where the best and he wanted to make a TV commercial to promote them. So he went to a studio to get his commercial made. There he gave an idea of how he wanted his commercial "I want it to be epic and persuasive, everyone should buy my nails", he was said to not worry and come back in a week, and the commercial would be made. He came back a week later and he watched his commercial preview. The …

Is this a very old joke? A Greek lands on a beautiful uninhabited island and writes a poem about it. A Roman finds another beautiful island devoid of people and he builds a statue to himself there. A Celt finds yet a third island with no people and starts a fight. **I just thought of a variant:** Instead of building a statue the Roman conquers the uninhabited island. But perhaps the original joke implies that -- maybe when Rome conquered a place it erected statues to the general who did th…