Successful breeding A man and a young woman met in a bar and started to talk. It turned out that both were celebrating- the man because he had achieved a successful breeding of a rare blue-eyed female pheasant for the first time in captivity, and the lady because she and her husband had finally had their first child after a long period of trying. “So how did you finally achieve the successful breeding?,” she asked. “Well,” he explained, “it was a matter of continually changing mates in order …

Everything's Big in Texas A Texan goes to a bar and buys everyone a round of drinks, exclaiming that his wife has just given birth to their first child "a Texas sized" baby boy weighing 24 pounds. Congrats came from all over the bar and folks saying "Wow" Two weeks later, the Texan returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of the Texas size baby that weighed 24 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?" The proud father says "18 pounds." The bartender, confused a…

WIFE: Kate's new baby is 7lbs 11oz ME: WIFE: Roughly 12 a stone ME: WIFE: 312 kilos ME: WIFE: [sigh] a four pack of beer ME: Oh cool

*Takes our kid away so my wife can have a break* *Takes kid to pub* *Bumps into wife at pub*