*Takes our kid away so my wife can have a break* *Takes kid to pub* *Bumps into wife at pub*

Little Johnny : I like the way you think An elementary school math teacher asked her class one day, ""If there are three birds on a wire, and a farmer shot one, how many are left?"" One little boy said two, but little Sally, realizing it was a trick question, said, ""None, 'cause everyone knows that if you shoot at birds they all fly away."" The teacher congratulates her on her correct answer. Little Johnny, however, disagreed. He said, ""No, there would be one --the one that the farmer shot."" …

Jack A husband rushes into the emergency room from work to greet his wife who is giving birth to their first born. He helps all he can; he holds his wife's hand and breathes with her through the pain. The doctor claims to see the head. The husband runs around and watches as this bloody, mess of a human being comes out... However, the doctor pulls out a head. Just a head. The husband jumps in confusion. The wife is silent in shock. The doctor has never seen anything like it. Just when the married…

A proud Jamaican father went into a bar A Jamaican man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to ""a typical Jamaican baby boy weighing 20 pounds."" Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of ""Wow!"" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, ""Say, you're the father of the Jamaican baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh n…