As a parent I often wonder if there's anything I could've done differently to prevent the jealousy between my twins Lisa & Hog Face.

mom: why is there a Hispanic man climbing our balcony me: he is my romeo & I am his Juliet mom: (._. ) me: I'm just kidding call the cops

A musician joke So little Johnny runs up to his mother and yells ""Mommy! Mommy! I could count higher than anyone in my class at school today! Everyone else could only get to 10, but I could count all the way to 12!"" And little Johnny's mother replied, ""That's because you are a violinist"". The next day, Little Johnny runs up to his mother and yells ""Mommy! Mommy! I can read more letters in the alphabet then the rest of my class! Most of the children could read only up to 'E' but I got all th…

little johnny likes to gamble. Little Johnny likes to gamble. One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city. Johnny's daddy thinks, ""I'll get a head start on Johnny's gambling."" So he calls the teacher and says, ""My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you'll have to keep an eye on him."" The teacher says OK, she can handle it. The next day Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, ""Hi, my name is Johnny."" …