WIFE: there's a bear outside our tent ME: so W: so scare him off M: *unzips door* Donald Trump might become president *bear jumps into fire*

Donald Trump ""is intensely loyal...he will never let you down."" .... - his third wife

So Bush is elected President... ...and he decides to give Clinton a visit at the White House. So they're having drinks after dinner, conversation flowing, when Bush needs to relieve himself. He asks Bill where the urinals were, and Bill points him down a corridor, third door to the right. He notices that the urinal was golden - but assumes he was sent to a special bathroom, possibly for visiting dignitaries. Anyway, on their way home, he happens to mention this to Laura. She doesn't think it's a…

The President, the First Lady, a boy scout and a pilot are on a plane. (Not sure if this one has been submitted already) Suddenly, a bird gets stuck in one of the engines, causing it to burst into flames. The pilot tells the passengers that the plane will crash, but there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The president grabs one and says, "I am the most important man in the country! The people need me!" and quickly jumps out of the plane. The first lady grabs another parachute and says, "H…