smh, I bought tickets to Disney on ice & it was just 2 hours of Donald Duck smoking crystal meth

It's okay when Daisy Duck walks around in high heels and with no pants on but when I do it people are all "this is a church, young lady."

[After reading vows] Me: Why are you upset? Her: Me: Was it the Donald- Her: Yes, it was the Donald Duck voice.

I always felt that Daffy Duck was funnier than Donald Duck but didn't get as much recognition because he was black.